The Nifty Winblows95 Homepage!

I'm so excited!!!

Hey Gang, Windoze95 is here! So you'd better be prepared because if you snooze, you lose!

You're probably thinking "Why does this guy with the OS/2 page have a Windope95 page?" In fact, I'd be wondering the same thing if I were in your shoes. It may look as if I have written this page merely to ridicule and denounce Winlemon97, but that is not the case!

Why you need Windork95

Where it comes from

This is obvious to anybody with half a brain (and no more than half)! The answer is: because it's put out by the greatest, wealthiest, and most understanding company on the face of the planet. Why are they understanding you ask? Well, because they know that fools like you couldn't find their [shoes] with a mirror and a flashlight, so they decided to make it all real easy for you. A prime example of this is their newest and most spectacular "social interface" software "Boob". Boob is aimed not at the pocket-protected computer nerd, but at the average drooling idiot like yourself! Offended? Don't be! They're just trying to help. So with products like Boob under their belt, how could anybody even consider not buying their software? And since Wincroaks98 is their latest and greatest product, what more do you need to know?

Who likes it

Just read any issue of "PC Rube Magazine"! They love it! The fancy little icons and the "desktop metaphor" and the shabbily-nailed-on long filenames are totally new to computers! Oh, and don't forget that key phrase "Object Oriented"!

Oh, and let's not forgot how stable it is! Follow this link to get a copy of a silly little DOS program that will not effect any true 32-bit operating system such as OS/2 or Windows NT but will bring Windows 95 to its knees! Happy crashing!

Oops! The above link does not work, and I don't know where it went! If anybody knows where to find w95lock.exe, let me know!