"Oops.. Sorry, Eric. I thought Chris might be in here. Do you have some sort of gastro-intestinal problem?"
"Todd, you really should give warning before you kick the door in. I assume you're looking for Chris, but as you can see, he's not here. Come to think of it, I doubt you'll find him. You see, he ran off to join the Peace Corps. He's in Cheboksary, Russia teaching English, which is ironic, and won't be back for another year or so. Let me do my business, and then we can all go back to your house at 11th & Charnelton and watch TV."